Well, today was another day of combative conversation.
A lot of topics start out with someone making a blanket, one sided statement about some hot topic or political issue.
But today, it started out with (J) mentioning he's having some marital problems.
Thus started the chiming in of (R) and (MG), two guys even if it was me, would not seek out the advice from them. Basically, they were saying that he needs to be happy for himself, that it's better to not have arguing in the house amongst other things, single life is great, typical male responses, etc.
As I mentioned with my character statements, (J) is married with 1 kid who's fairly young. He just recently got an x-box and has been playing that and talking to the other guys about how it is since they all seem to have one and are playing the latest and greatest game.
(J) makes very pointed statements that seem to have no room for convincing otherwise. Some statements like "I'm the man of my house", "I should be able to have fun if I want to", etc.
To me, it sounds very prideful and that it's coming from a blinded perspective. So, it sounded a lot like he was looking for agreement in a lot of his thoughts and feelings. As a side note, he was apparently chilling on the couch, his wife said something to him (as any man knows he may have taken it wrongly), he said he wasn't raising his voice, argument ensues. Apparently, he was drinking so cursing was intertwined with their argument.
I told him, a soft word turns away wrath. Well, (R) and (MG) chimed in saying it was not always true or it was just "common sense". I thought, that can't be all. I looked it up and the rest of the verse says that a harsh word arouses anger. So together, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." I told (MG) that yes, this may be common sense but it is there for us to learn from. Not everyone may know this or think about it. If everyone in this world knows this we would have less problems, but clearly that is not the case so then the problem is that nobody follows it (myself at times included). This is actually something challenging to put into practice around here with a lot of the heated and touchy subjects we talk about.
God has graciously given me a lot of experience in relationships, mostly from my own shortcomings. He has taught me so much in my failures, but has also showed me much more in restoring me above and beyond anything I deserve. In knowing this for myself, I could not simply stand by while these guys give relationship/marital advice and listen to this garbage straight from the throwaway society that we live in today. Lies straight from hell.
This started a long drawn out argument. I got lost at times in combating arguments from (R), who has experience in marriage/divorce/kids etc. Now, my point in all of this was that it's not better (save a few circumstances) for kids to have their parents separate/divorce than it is for them to be in an argumentative environment. Kids are the casualties of so many things today. They are targeted for so many more problems today because of our parents generation giving in to Sin and not standing up for what is Truth. Free love back in the 60's/70's lead to a sexual revolution that we are still paying debts for today - where it was ok and welcomed for people to be promiscuous. Where drug use was rampant and almost everyone took part in.
Today, parents would rather take the easy route, abandon their family because it's for the "best" and it's better for the kids. Why not stick it out? Why not try? Why not try harder? I told (J), we've had our problems, we're not perfect, but you'll never know what could have been if you just up and give up.
In thinking of what Christ has commanded us as Husbands to be, pride is the last thing we have if anything. I told him that Christ calls us to love our wives like the Church which Christ died for. So for us, we're called to an even higher standard in what we do for our wives. This seemed to make it through to him.
My heart mourns for their situation, literally. I know all too well how it is to be in that situation. There is hope, there is always hope. Jesus is hope, He is our hope. Without hope, there is no point in any situation, be it marriage, be it life, be it in eternity. Those who do not know about Jesus, have no hope.
Fortunately enough, another co-worker (RT) sent him a link to a website that covered a lot of issues he was going through. He asked how he should approach it with his wife and I said - with a great big piece of humble pie. Don't finger point and approach it as - honey, we've got some problems and I don't know where else to turn, but this seems to talk a lot about what we're having problems with.
I told him I would pray for him and he said thanks, he appreciated it. Now, for me to remember to do so and for it not to be that disingenuous courtesy "I'll pray for you". I've been guilty of that more times than I know and could count, but I'm trying to be more careful that when I tell someone I will pray for them, I truly follow through with it. It doesn't matter if they know that I'm keeping my word, I answer to my God and He knows.
Some of the other argument topics included the Bible, the authenticity, other "books" that weren't included in it and evolution was one we also talked about for a while. I told him in Revelation the Bible says that if anyone adds to it or retracts from it, they will be cursed. Revelation 22:18-19 "I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues which are written in this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his part from the tree of life and from the holy city, which are written in this book. "
Eventually, (R) and I talked about some other topics that we found common ground on. One was people who are in Teacher/Preacher positions not taking their roles as seriously as they should. That a lot of times, it reflects that they either don't fear God or are false teachers. There are way too many examples of Preachers who have fallen from grace. One example was Eddie Long that we've talked about in here before. And I told him, I'm more scared for him than he probably is for himself. If you look up in the Bible, it clearly states in James 3:1 "Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment." Teachers/Preachers are judged on a higher standard. To me, that is scary. To me, it's more concerning that these Preachers are supposedly preaching the Word of God but not respecting it and fearing God. We need a fear and reverence like in the Old Testament.
